Fear remains, but fear motivates me to a LIFE / A life well lived, a life of PEACE.

Deloris Dockrey, Director of Community Organizing and New Jersey Women Advocacy Network (NJWAN), shares her poem Fear, My Companion and Motivator for the Visual AIDS website to celebrate LOVE POSITIVE WOMEN (LPW). LPW is an international series of grassroots events created by Jessica Whitbread that runs through February 14 that uses Valentines Day as a backdrop, creating a platform for individuals and communities to engage in public and private acts of love and caring for women living with HIV. Working from a place of strength, LPW focuses on the idea of interconnectedness, relationship building, loving oneself and loving ones community. How will you celebrate the women living with HIV in your life this year for LOVE POSITIVE WOMEN?

For LOVE POSITIVE WOMEN 2017, Visual AIDS, the Fire Island Artist Residency, Dieu Donne and the International Community of Women Living With HIV hosted three papermaking valentine workshops at Dieu Donné in New York City to support women living with HIV. An accompanying LOVE POSITIVE WOMEN Valentine Exhibition at the Bureau of General Services Queer Division will showcase many of the valentines created as a gesture of love and solidarity for women living with HIV around the world. The valentines will be mailed to women living with HIV at the conclusion of the exhibition in hopes of lessening the stigma they experience and providing a hopeful and heartening moment of love on Valentines Day.

A Reception with Reflections for LOVE POSITIVE WOMEN Valentine Exhibition will be held Thursday, January 26 from 6:30–8:30PM at the Bureau of General Services Queer Division (208 W 13th Street, New York NY 10011). The reception will include brief reflections on the importance of love and community building from members of the Positive Women's Network and the International Community of Women Living with HIV.

Fear, My Companion and Motivator

By Deloris Dockrey

Fear is my constant companion,

Fear is my motivator.

Fear was there when I was molested as a child,

Fear was there in my guilt and shame,

Fear motivated me to say STOP!

Fear was there when I had my son,

Fear was there when I knew I was alone,

Fear motivated me to keep HIM.

Fear was there when I journeyed to a new country,

Fear was there as I ran away from guilt and shame,

Fear motivated me to succeed and ACHIEVE.

Fear was there when I became HIV positive,

Fear was there in my guilt and shame,

Fear motivated me to survive and LIVE!

Fear was there when I was rejected and unloved,

Fear was there in my guilt and shame,

Fear motivated me to find a new PATH.

Fear was there as I lie in a coma,

Fear was there in my regret and guilt,

Fear motivated me to go on LIVING!

Fear I have grown to respect you,

My guilt and shame is gone,

Fear remains, but fear motivates me to a LIFE

A life well lived, a life of PEACE.

Deloris Dockrey is the Director of Community Organizing and New Jersey Women Advocacy Network (NJWAN) for Hyacinth AIDS Foundation, New Jersey’s oldest and largest AIDS service organization, where she directs public education, AIDS prevention and community action campaigns to raise awareness and encourage action to address the social crisis caused by HIV/AIDS. As a person living with HIV, Ms. Dockrey has a personal as well as professional interest in public health policies related to the HIV epidemic. She has trained and mobilized people living with HIV to advocate for policies that impact their access to care, treatment, support, and prevention services.